Pastors must go beyond simple platitudes when ministering in wake of a suicide



By Rheta Murry

It certainly was a difficult funeral service, but also an amazing opportunity to share the Gospel with people who were far from God andbring hope at that time.  Lin Wurzbacher, senior pastor ofBlessed Hope Community Churchin Webster, N.Y.

WEBSTER, N.Y....

I often think of the calling and gifting of being a leader in God's church as a double-edge sword.  As leaders, we are incredibly passionate and driven to see the people of God (and the church as a whole) growing in spiritual maturity and producing more spiritual fruit. That calling and passion keeps us awake at night and keeps us on our knees seeking God's constant guidance and blessing.

It is that passion and drive that comes from God that gives us energy and strength to keeps us continually seeking to move God's people in a forward direction.  But it feels like a double-edged sword at times.  On one side, we see the vision of how much better people's lives could be.  We see the potential for good and for abundant fruit for the Kingdom that seems so close to one's grasp.  But on the other side, we also see the selfishness and the stubbornness that keeps people from moving forward in their journey of faith and that can feel so frustrating at times.

And it's not about judging other people for where...

 

Dear God,

Thank you so much that you have again reminded me that what I do is what I was born to do!

Yes, just at this moment I'm realizing that You have again answered my prayer. Last week I was feeling down and discouraged.  I was once again questioning my calling as I so often have through the years.  Lord, please forgive me for that! Forgive me that after all this time you still have to say to me, "Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?”(Matt. 8:26).

Last week, I knew my attitude had somehow gone wrong.  I was feeling weary of doing good.  I hadn't been spending enough time with you in quiet prayer and I wasn't getting my daily bread in the right amount and the result was that I felt tired and frustrated and so not filled with grace.

How hard is it to be a church planting pastor / senior pastor?

It's the absolute hardest thing I've ever done in my life! There is no doubt in my mind that I could not, would not do this in my own strength. 

One of the things that makes it so very hard for me personally is the fact that my natural personality bent is to be a people pleaser.  Someone once said the surest way to fail is to try to please everyone. I love people with all my heart.  I have a huge mercy gift.  I want to comfort, please, make happy, make everyone feel better!  But it's not possible. And God calls me to be a "God-pleaser" first.

I heard a story awhile back:

Erwin McManus relayed the story of his young son who called him into his room at night because he was afraid. He asked his daddy, Erwin, to pray for protection and that God would make him safe.

Erwin said to his son, "No, I won't pray that. I'm going to pray instead that God would make you dangerous. That you would be so dangerous that demons would be afraid of you."

The son replied, "Then pray that I would be very dangerous Daddy."

The point is that believers should be so close to God and so armed with His weapons that they would be able to stand against the world and the evil one and to be bold like Jesus.

Since I heard that, that has become my prayer for my own son, for myself and for all of our church.

It may seem like strange advice but one of the best pieces of advice that I would give any church leader is simply: "remember, everything ebbs and flows."

What does that mean?

It's like waves in the ocean ebb (recede) and then flow (come towards the shore). It's that back and forth movement. It's the rhythum of life and it's the rhythum in ministry and churches..  It's the rhythum of everyone's life and it's something you can't control.

 

Reality check: Being a female, non-denominational, senior pastor can feel kind of lonely at times.  For one thing, there is very, very few of us.

I have spent a lot of time through the years searching for others like me and have found so very few.

I have found quite a few husband and wife team church planters but very few solo (Non-denom.) women church planters.  There is a big difference. Though my husband is 100% supportive of me and the church, he is not, does not have the calling of a pastor.

This is truly pioneering work and very few people know nor understand that aspect of it.

I certainly don't say this because I want sympathy of any kind.  But I do want other women who are considering planting a church to be aware and be prepared that this road can be a lonely one at times. 

I prayed long and hard about whether God was calling me and our church to be part of a denomination. It would have been nice to feel and have the support of a bigger organization. But God made it clear to me that was not His plan for me and for BHCC. I don't know all the whys of His plan, I just know that it is His will.

It grieves me how so many male pastors have acted towards me through the years. I can understand that they may have different beliefs than do I when it comes to women in ministry.  I can accept that, but what I can't accept is for a pastor of Christ to use their beliefs as a reason to be rude to another human being.  It contradicts the Gospel message as far as I'm concerned.

One time I attended a pastor's luncheon and was sat at a table with 6 male pastors.  None of them would talk to me.  The speaker was Dr. David Jeremiah and the man who was leading the worship portion kept saying things like, 'men, stand up, men, sit down." The women were not addressed at all and there were quite a few in the room!

 

Does it bother me that so many men and Christian denominations still believe that woman should not be pastors?

YES!!!

Of course it bothers me! Anything that interferes with God’s work and God’s people going forth to bring more light into this dark world in which we live bothers me greatly!

We can argue what scriptures say or doesn't say all day long but the bottom line friends is it makes absolutely no sense (according to the whole Gospel) why God wouldn’t call women to be pastors. (Oh yes, I will tackle this subject often in this blog and for good reason, it’s part of what God has called me to do! :- )

The fact that it makes absolutely no sense for God not to call women as pastors and church planters is a BIG spiritual truth that I want to point out today.  The problem with the idea of women not being pastors puts the focus on what man can do and not so much on what Christ can do.

The question should not be what gender but the question should be is that person following Christ and led by the Spirit of God? It really seems insulting to God and certainly to women to say that God can’t use women as leaders and pastors in His church. God can use anyone! That’s the gospel message, right?

And here’s the truth.  The work I do is the same work that any male pastor does.  The work is the same, or at least it should be.

I will revisit this subject often in this blog (along with many other controversial subjects) but for now, I want to share a little more about the work of a pastor by sharing my last few days of doing His work.

Last Friday and Saturday was the Women of Faith Conference in Rochester, NY.  BHCC had around 35 women go together as a group.  It was an absolutely amazing experience for the women of our church.

Now remember, our church reaches many unchurched and dechurched people.  Most all of our people are either on the edges of finding faith or are brand new to finding Christ.

I often think of Paul’s illustration of how new Christians are like babes and infants in Christ and so in many ways, it feels like most of our church is a giant nursery full of precious little ones in need of much love and attention.

My calling often feels very much like a spiritual Mom.  God gives me such a great heart for these people, I feel like they are like my very own children regardless of their earthly age.  It’s spiritual age and maturity that I see in them.

Greetings in the name of the LORD Jesus Christ!

And WELCOME to my new website and blog!!!

Why have I titled this website: "That woman pastor?"

First of all, because the vision that God has given me for this site is definitely for it to contain much humor! Since I really enjoy adding a bit of humor to just about everything, I want my blog and website to reflect that part of who God made me!  I've always thought that I'm a living example of the fact that God has an amazing sense of humor! I like that about Him!

And Secondly, I've always found it amusing that I am often referred to by the people at large in our community as 'that woman pastor." Usually the people of my church and I hear that phrase used in various ways, often something like:  "Ohh, you're from the church that has that woman pastor?"

So I smile and say, "Yeah, that woman pastor, that would be me!"
 
And in that moment, I can feel God smile and wink at me as He adds:  "That woman pastor? ....that's MY daughter! That's My child!  That's My servant! That woman pastor belongs to me!"

My goal and prayer is for this website to encourage other servants of Christ and all the glory forever and ever to be to Christ alone!  Worthy is the Lamb who was slain! I plan to be very BOLD and honest with all that I share in this space. I feel God has given me a lot to say here.  I've been holding back up to now.  But it's time. 

Time to step up even more. God has been calling me out and it's time for me to bury what's left of my 'people pleasing side' and speak the truth in love as God leads me, even if it does ruffle more than a few feathers out there! So check back often and get ready to get ruffled! :-)